Maybe it was because she wasn't here to defend herself, or maybe it was because of the previous tension between Eddie and me, and I was looking for reasons to continue disliking him... I'm not sure, but the idea of Eddie being angry with Mom, was upsetting, even if I was mad at her too.I tried to shake all of the circulating thoughts from my head when I made it out to the pool and stepped in, allowing my body to sink to the bottom as always. But this time, instead of an attempt to think peaceful thoughts about my mom, I tried to think about anything but her. Every time Mom entered my mind I went back to the same thing: she lied to me. And when I thought about how she lied to me, I needed an explanation for it, and I'd end up right where I'd started, wondering when Alice's package would arrive. But, at the same time, not thinking about all of this left my mind open to more thoughts that I'd been trying to avoid since yesterday.Aaron. I suppose it was normal for someone my age to let. Forexample, he can masturbate as often as he wants but there are rules asto how it must occur. He must be completely feminized while doing so.Therefore, he must put on panties and bra, a corset and slip, nylonsand heels, nail polish and makeup and a pretty dress. He also must doit with a dildo inserted. So what does all of this do? He associateswith being feminine with pleasure. He learns that sex is a good thingand he can get all he wants as long as he does it properly and when hedoes it properly, he becomes more feminine, more submissive, moreaccepting of his role in my life. I do not deny him or tell him hecannot so he understands I want him to enjoy himself and each time hedoes so he does enjoy himself reinforcing that what I want of him isbest for him. Sex like this is fantastic for a male. It is relaxing andsexy and really turns him on and yet it becomes very satisfying so hewants to repeat it.Yes, chastity can work but still should be used in conjunction with thefeminine.
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